The Many Adventures of Marik and Malik
by Pork Steak the Grande
Summary: Marik and Malik are going on a fun filled road trip! RUN FOR COVER! Nothing is safe... especially not the guys... Yaoi, Insanity, OOCness!
1. The Saga Begins

God, the Grand (e): Hola Amigos and Amigas, what's sliding in the ice? 

Gandalf: Ok so, here is the jazz! This is a Marik and Malik story that focus's on them and their crazily cool adventures! This story has insanity and OOCness so you are forewarned! Also, watch out for the speed bumps… 

Gandalf: She means yaoi.

God: Word. I haven't really decided If this is going to be a Marik/Malik story, and if it isn't, there is still yaoi! Now… take it away Herbulous Hampster, other wise known as Herb, the official, non-official 'Adventures of Marik and Malik' muse!

Gandalf: *cough* Wendy's Commercial *cough*

Herb Hamster: Ok, nope God the Grand (e) does not own Yu-Gi-Oh, nor does she own the song "Material Girl" by the original material girl, Madonna! ^.^ On with the show! *drools over Bijou pictures* *Kush, kush* 

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~~

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Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me, I think they're ok

If they don't give me proper credit,

I just walk away

~~

A blonde haired spirit turned teen was just getting out of the shower. He danced and bobbed his head along as the music played.

~~

__

They can beg and they can plead

But they can't see the light, that's right

'Cause the boy with the cold hard cash

Is always Mr. Right'

~~

He threw on a tight nylon-cotton blend lilac tank top and tight, black leather pants that showed off the major curves he loved so much. Men aren't usually that curvy, but this Egyptian was an exception. 

~~

Cause we are living in a material world  
And I am a material girl

~~

He hummed along as he did his make up. A little eye liner here, and a little bronzer there. He wore tons of mascara to show off his long, beautiful eyelashes.

~~

You know that we are living in a material world  
and I am a material girl

~~

By now, he was singing along, and twirling as he shook out his long, luxurious ashe blonde locks that he only ever used the finest shampoos on. No generic or Suave shampoos for this fellow.

~~

__

Some boys romance, some boys slow dance  
That's all right with me  
If they can't raise my interest then I  
Have to let them be

~~

He spiraled around again, spraying wisps of perfume on and waltzed out the door, still dancing to the music as he went along. 

"Cause we are living in a material world, and I am the material girl!" He bellowed, as he skipped heartily down the white, spiral staircase of the new house he and his almost family had moved into.

Upon reaching the bottom step, he grabbed a slightly shorter boy and spun him around, tangoing with him to the song,

"Wah!" The look-a-like blonde yelped as he was pulled into another dance position.

"Morning Malik!" The taller blonde chirped.

"Marik let me go!" Malik cried. Marik then released him onto the cream carpet.

"As you wish un-cute Hikari." Marik said, sauntering into the kitchen. Malik shook his head. This was pretty much a daily routine in the Ishtar residence, forced to dance to Madonna with Marik. Sigh, why had he been stuck with the flamboyantly gay yami? Man, at least Yami and Bakura were normal gays… well for the most part anyways. He leapt up from the floor, and went to go greet a PMSing Isis and an overly cheery Marik in the kitchen.

Marik was twirling and pirouetting along as usual, singing Madonna at the top of his lungs, and already Isis was furious, note the Egyptian female's eye twitching.

"Marik…" She growled. He just kept singing along, making up his cereal.

"SHUT UP!" She roared, slamming down a fist. Malik jumped and meeped. 

"Looks like someone forgot to take their Midol!" Marik retorted merrily, taking a bite of his Fruit Loops, ( we do NOT own those ) 

"Marik…"

"Yeah sis?" He said innocently, sitting across from he rat the wooded four-seater table. 

"…" She just glared. Marik figured it was because he was so well behaved and handsome. Malik could not help but snigger. Marik was so clueless. 

Marik then took a hand full of Fruit Loops and threw them in Isis's face. 

"…" 

"….." If you thought Isis was glaring before, now she was GLARING her monster glare, glare of all glares. 

"Marik…" She hissed. He grinned and waved cutely. She rose from the table and ran to get him; he was smart enough to run too.

"MARIK ISHTAR, YOU RUNT HEADED IDIOT! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" She screamed, picking up any object and chucking it at said boy's head.

"Wee!" Marik screeched, still ahead of Isis. Malik had thought then would have been a good time to make a quiet exit before returning to getting his luggage. You see our two warriors were to go on a road trip… across America. They were packing up their bags and getting the heck out of Domino, Japan; and everyone was scared straight. They had good reason to be, this was Malik and Marik Ishtar we are talking about the definition of trouble, especially Marik. Malik never meant to get in trouble, but when Marik is your yami it has a way of creeping up on you and attacking, like a rabid squirrel… or something. Isis just hoped the poor US could live through it. She wished he were still young enough for her to say 'no' but this was the summer before he would become a senior, so she felt obligated to at least let him have his fun. Bakura and Ryou had a bet of how long it would take before the two were thrown in jail. Bakura gave it a day. Either way, this was to be some trip.

Malik Ishtar sat quietly on his made bed, looking at his luggage set. He was thinking about his trip and pretty excited. Marik wasn't his first choice of course to take on the trip, but everyone else could not go, or had a trip of their own planned. Besides, sadly and no matter how much he truly despised and hoped it wasn't true, Marik was his Yami, and had grown to become his best friend, no matter how psycho he was. 

He grabbed his luggage, and took them out to the car. Marik and Isis had finally settled down; a little. Currently the female Ishtar had Marik pinned on the kitchen floor and was threatening him with a pitchfork. Malik could not help but giggle at how much she resembled the devil, a she-devil. That's what Marik called her… just not in front of her face!

"Eh, guys.. We got to get going soon… the plan is arriving at 1:00 and we still have to stop by Yugi and co's to say our goodbyes…" Malik trailed off, twirling a strand of straight bleached hair. 

Isis retreated.

"One of these days Marik… I will get you… for good." She snapped, whisking away to grab her keys. Marik had already put his stuff in the car last night.

"Oh my gosh unfashionable Hikari, think about all the clothes I can buy in America! Oh gosh, we must go to Rodeo Drive in Hollywood; must!" Marik chimed happily. 

"Whatever." Malik said tiredly. 

"Ready to go guys?" Isis asked, twirling her keys on her finger.

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God, the Grand (e): WEE! I started another story and score 1 for me! It wasn't a Yaoi fic starring Ryou and Bakura! It even almost has a plot...kind of. Hrm. Anyways, so what'd ya think? Good first chapter? I thought it was good I guess 0.o

Gandalf: Yay! 

God: Man this story is even a blast to write! 

Gandalf: No kidding… now to get to the other four or so fics you've started and haven't finished!

God: 0_o; No kidding! Welp, I'm off to go party hardy folks!

Gandalf: Yes, and see you next chapter… which will come out… someday; hopefully or actually before the end of the month!

God: No kidding! Hope you all have tubular days!

Gandalf: We might even update faster if you review!

Herb the Hamster: Yeah, and later days! 


	2. Fluff and GoodByes

God, the Grand (e): Aloha brohas!

Herb Hamster: Heya! -kush, kush- Anyways, nope we don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, or Hamtaro -damn!-

Gandalf: … Hamtaro has nothing to do with this story though, but anyways, we decided to be extra cool, as usual, and put review replies at the top for once! Yay!

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redconvoy: Yes, feel sorry for America… very! As for Marik being overly gay, isn't he great that way? -sighs and dies- Anyways, hope you keep reading, and thanks for reviewing!

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AibouEnjeruAibou: You liked the start huh? Yay! Three chapters before advice? Then I still have yet another to go! Anyways, glad you liked and thanks for reviewing!

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PharaohAtemRa: Yesh, yesh! Marik the crazy 'babe'! He would look great in pink, ne? Sorry for such a _looonnnggg _update, but unfortunately this story isn't my top priority! Anyways, hope you like the chapter and thanks for reviewing!

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Trivia-game: -is amazed- You like it too? Ye-haw, round out the saddles! Anyways, yes, go Marik! Glad you liked and thanks for reviewing!

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Kawaii Chibi Angel Kitty: -shakes- Hello, HULLO?

Gandalf: Doonnn'tttt dieee onnnn ussss noowwwwww!!!

God: No don't dieee! -cries- Wake up! Anyways, glad you liked and thanks for reviewing!

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Riyuki: Oy! Ryou and Bakura are my favorite pairing too! Next to them would be Yami and Yugi… but Marik and Malik are squeezed in there somewhere! Glad you liked the start and hope you like the rest too! Thanks for reviewing!

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Uory's Lover: Hiya Fluffy! -pets- Good Fluffy! Muah, I updated everything this weekend, and might even post the start to the sequel of 'When the Sun goes Down'! I got an idea for it, I did! Say hello to tents and sleeping bags, because this time, they're about to take a camping trip! -sweatdrop- I wanted to kind of keep it a little insy bit original, which is why I didn't send them to some ski resort! Anyways, who is this Chelsey? Anyways, I decided to add some random girl named Chelsey in here and Marik can torture her! Yay! -dances- You gave me the idea, orange you glad? All for the Fluffy! -cough- My nose is too stuffy, I hate being sick… unless it means I get to skip school, which today I didn't on a count of it being a Sunday! But anyways before I tell you my whole life story, thanks for reviewing as always, and I'm awaiting the 'Straight' update!

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Kaboodles Kitten: It's not you, it's me! I don't know, just felt like writing that sentence (or typing whichever you prefer)! Oy! No 'teeny weeny little bit' insults huh? You don't like the weirdness and scariness of Marik in this story? I think he's a hoot! But I would because my mom was telling me this story and anyways, time to stop being random and thank you once again for reviewing! Have some fun in the sun!

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M.L.: Of course I've seen the show, and there Marik is psycho and strange! Which is why I decided to add cheerful, and gay to the list! Sorry you think he's a bit extreme, and I may consider toning him down, but won't make promises, because I like him the way he is! I do appreciate your comment though, but do note, in the disclaimer it says OOC, or Out Of Character, and that was meant mainly for Marik! Either way, glad you liked the story so far besides the extremeness of Marik, and thanks for reviewing! Have a scandalous day and hope you keep reading!

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slave4kai: Glad you love the extremeness of Marik, as do I! Glad to hear you think my fics are damn cool, and thanks for reviewing!

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Priestess: Hm, what more is there to say? All I know is thanks for reviewing and I hope it didn't frighten you too much!

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Rach-Chan: It made you laugh that hard? Wow! I hope the other chapters continue to do the same! Here's your update and hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reviewing!

Gandalf: now that's everyone, and let's get to the story!

"Floor it Isis!" Marik screeches, as the three drive along, now on their way to say 'goodbyes' to Ryou and Bakura.

"Marik I am going as fast as the speed limit will allow." The raven haired woman replied in her serious tone. Marik rolled his lilac orbs and sunk lower into his seat.

"Can I drive then?" He asked/

"Not in another millennium." She said, peering behind her, and pulling into the white house's driveway.

Marik ran out of the car, as did Malik and ran to the front door. Marik knocked, or more banged.

"Uh, what the hell do you fruit cakes want? No solicitors aloud." Bakura sneered, narrowing his 'scary' chocolate orbs at them. Marik gave him a knowing smile and pushed through.

"Ryou?" Malik called, following Marik inside the house. Ryou rushed down the stairs only in his boxers.

"Oh! Hi guys, sorry I'm not at my best right now, I was just about to take a shower!" He announced. Marik stared at the white haired teen suspiciously as he got closer. When he was less than an arm's reach away, he pulled him close and sniffed him.

"You reek of sex!" Marik exclaimed, grinning. The teen blushed furiously.

"What are you talking about?" He said in his usual sweet voice, feigning innocence.

"You screwed Bakura didn't you?" Marik asked, glancing back and forth between the two. Ryou shook his head while Bakura nodded and smirked, then started shaking his head too when he realized Ryou could see him.

"Bakura!" Ryou screeched, bewildered.

"What? I didn't want to lie; you always say lying is bad!" He said truthfully. Bakura's lover rolled his eyes.

"Anyways, are you guys leaving now?" Ryou asked. Malik nodded.

"Yeah, Isis is waiting for us. So I guess this is good-bye for the summer!" Malik said. Ryou wrapped his arms around the blonde.

"I'm going to miss you Malik! A whole month huh? God, we've been best friends since you moved here around two years ago, it's going to be so weird with you gone! Have fun ok and don't let Marik kill anybody. Oh yes, and remember to make sure he has his Riddlin, or man, are you guys in trouble." Ryou said, pulling away slowly. Malik smiled.

"I'll remember, Isis even remember to pack extra. I'll miss you too Ryou." He said. Ryou hugged him again before retreating.

"I can't believe we are going to be blonde free for a whole month!" Bakura exclaimed, doing some sort of Egyptian victory dance.

"Bye Bakura, have fun with Ryou… just don't fuck him too much or he won't be able to walk." Marik chimed. There was no one redder than Ryou at that moment.

Bakura walked over and wrapped his arms around his teenage love, nuzzling his nose in the boy's hair.

"Bye guys." Bakura said a true, rare smile on his face. He'd never admit it, but he really would miss the two, since they were almost as evil as he was, or Marik anyways, when he didn't have his ADHD medicine.

"Bye Kura!" Marik said, taking the two boys into a bear hug.

"Come on Marik, we have to go… Isis awaits." He said, dragging his Yami along. Ryou and Bakura walked outside to the porch and waved to the two as they got into the car.

"So how long do you think it'll be before Marik takes over America?" Ryou asked, looking up to his jagged eyed Bakura.

"I give it two days, three days tops." Bakura replied nonchalantly. Ryou smiled and nuzzled his head into Bakura's smooth, tanned chest. He hoped Marik and Malik wouldn't get into too much trouble, but knew it was a pointless.

Isis was bawling, to say it in simple forms. She didn't think she'd ever cried so much… unfortunately, Malik was the titanic in this story, and was soaked in snot, boogers, and salty water.

"Oh Malik, I'm going to _misss_ you _sooo mucccchhhhhh_!!" Isis whaled. Malik patted her back softly.

"I'll only be gone a month…" He trailed off.

"I swear Malik, if I see Marik on the news even once, or have some foreigner calling me about damage fees, you are sooo coming home!" She hollered. Marik tilted his head in confusion. She was acting as if she though he'd ruin the whole country. He was only one spirit turned teen… with shadow powers and a knack for trouble. Oh! And a passion for shopping, but that comes in later.

The Egyptian woman turned to Marik.

"And if one thing happens to my little brother you are a dead man." She said, making a slitting motion to her throat.

"Oh Isis, Isis, Isis, sister… no worries, I will make sure my ickle Malik has a wonderful time!" He chirped. Isis glared because she knew Marik's definition of wonderful.

"It's ok, seriously sis, I'll be ok! I'll even call you when we arrive, and even during the flight if you want!" Malik offered, trying to pull away from her.

"Ok fine… you can go now…but wait what if the plane you're on gets hijacked and is crashed into the world trade center?" She shrieked. Malik sweatdropped.

"Isis, we aren't landing in New York… we're starting in California… "He trailed off.

"Oh, all right then." She wiped her nose with the sleeve of her dress. "Go then, leave your big sister all alone for a whole month." She hugged him once again, but gently.

"Bye Malik, have fun." She then grabbed Marik by his shirt and hugged him, too.

"Marik be careful and make sure Malik doesn't get hurt. I'll miss you too, though sometimes it's hard to believe. Be careful… and stay out of trouble." She told the two. Both teens nodded.

"I love you guys." She added, letting them go. Marik smiled.

"Love you too big sissy. See you later!" He called, taking Malik's hand and leading them to the departure line for California. Malik waved once more. Isis waved back and blew a kiss.

She then started walking back to her car sniffling. She was worried like any sister-turned guardian would be; her little boy had grown up…. And that was a scary thought.

"Tickets?" The female flight attendant asked. Malik pulled it out, she checked it, and he was off.

"Ticket?" Marik handed her a ticket from the movie he had seen last week. 'Shrek 2' or something like that. She glared.

"Airplane ticket?"

"Don't get snooty." He said, pulling out the correct ticket. She nodded and let him pass.

Marik took a seat beside his light, who was starring out the window. In less than a day's time, the two would be arriving in Los Angeles. He peered up to the rainy Domino skies and sighed.

Marik pulled out a fashion magazine and flipped through it.

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In less than a day……

Gandalf: And that would conclude chapter two!

God: So it would! Oy! I couldn't help but not add a bit of Ryou and Bakura fluff, my hands demanded to type it, I tell you!

Herb: Once again, thanks for the wonderful, grand (e) reviews! Please review again, if you want to of course!

Gandalf: Exact-o-rama, and later days!

God: Buh-bye!


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